Readjusting from China

Time to be 100% honest.

With the start of the new semester and reuniting with old classmates, I've been getting the question, "How was China?" more than once a day. To make things simple, I go with the generic response of, "It was great! A true learning experience."

This is my cop-out response because I honestly don't know what else to say. I've been home for three months now after spending an entire semester abroad in China. But within these three months, I never got the chance to sit down and really reflect on my experience in China. There wasn't any time for reflection and truth be told, I didn't want to think about my semester abroad.

A few weeks ago, my friend Madison, whom I met in Beijing, came to DC for a short weekend visit. Madison, like me is an American-born-Chinese (what we call ABC) and was my rock in China. We held each other up. One night during her visit, we were at dinner and finally talked about our experience in China and readjustment back to the States. It was a tough night for me because I finally faced everything that I had suppressed. So...here we go.

China WAS a great experience but at the same time, it was extremely difficult for me. I learned more than I had bargained for in those 4-5 months. I saw things that I never expected, heard stories that broke my heart, and it was all worth the money I paid for to go to China. I think that I was never able to fully answer the "How was China?" question because, I don't know how to put my experience into words. No one can fully understand me unless they were physically there in China with me. I walk around campus and drive around Washington, DC thinking about the people around me. They have no idea what I went through and have no idea as to the condition of other places in the world.

In a way, China opened my eyes to the speed at which the country is changing. You have the richest of the rich and then the poorest of the poor. It's incredibly sad to see and hear the stories! Visiting the broken down, agricultural areas truly puts so much in perspective. Some of these people who live in homes with dirt floors, are actually the happiest people that I've ever met. They are so at peace and have found contentment in their current situation. It was so humbling to see.

If anything, my semester in China made me proud to me a Chinese-American. While in China, I found myself knee-deep in something I'd like to call "Identity Crisis." The Chinese saw me as an American while Americans saw me as Chinese. I really was in limbo! But you know what, why not be proud of being both Chinese and an American? The Chinese culture is so rich and the people are so strong in adversity. The Americans are also so strong and the country is filled with diversity and opprotunities. I come back to the United States a little less high-strung and more appreciative of what I have but more importantly, who I am.